Dita von Teese’s lingerie in 2014
Dita von Teese’s lingerie in 2014
How to take selfies with a bald eagle
1. Picture of you
2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?
3. What are you listening to right now?
4. Whats your favorite number?
5. What was the last thing you ate?
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
7. How is the weather right now?
8. Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone?
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
10. Do you have a significant other?
11. Favorite TV show?
14. Hair color?
15. Eye Color?
16. Do you wear contacts?
17. Favorite Holiday?
19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
20. What was the last movie you watched?
21. Favorite Day of the Year?
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
24. Hugs or Kisses?
25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?
27. Who is most likely to respond to a text from you?
28. Who is least likely to respond to a text from you?
29. What books are you reading?
31. Favorite movies?
32. Favorite football Team?
33. What are you doing right now?
34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
37. Dogs or cats?
38. Favorite flower?
39. Been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to do?
40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
41. Have you ever loved someone?
42. Who would you like to see right now?
43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
44. Have you ever fired a gun?
45. Do you like to travel by plane?
46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
48. Are you missing someone?
49. Do you have a tattoo?
50. Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
*gets a compliment*
Boys don’t understand the horrible view girls have of themselves
I’ll always reblog this I think
I should show this to guys when they make comments.
no you dont understand how fucking accurate this is.
The view if myself is the view that is the chub jest on my entire body
THE FACT THAT THIS IS CONCIDERED A AFUCKING HORRIBLE VIEW OF HOW GIRLS SEE THEMSELVES PISSES ME OFF AND MAKES ME WANT TO STAB MY BED OKAY
LISTEN TO ME
YOU ARE FIRECRACKERS
YOU ARE A BLIZZARD
YOU ARE AN APOCALYPSE OF LOVE AND RAGE
YOU ARE NOT AND SHOULD NEVER BE DUMBED DOWN TO WHAT YOUR GODDAMN PERCENTAGE OF FAT TO MUSCLE IS
YOU ARE BROKEN BONES AND SCRAPED KNEES AND THROATED SCREAMS AND YOU
IF YOU LOOK LIKE THIS, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
IF YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE THIS, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
IF YOU THINK YOU LOOK LIKE THIS, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
I AM SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF SEEING WONDERFUL, SMART, TALENTED, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL GIRLS HATING THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF AN UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION SET ON THEM AT A YOUNG AGE
YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE
I’ve reblogged this before but I never saw that comment and I’m actually crying omg
Yes, did somebody say “Dragons”?
I added gifs that looked like dragons. Didn’t know what “fellbeasts” were but ehh whatever
WE NEED MORE DRAGONS.
so basically leopard seals ARE cats??
i often see people quoteing me on twiter and tumblr, and it always makes me feel coll. i like being quotable, i think one of poetry’s importent roles is to create memorable lines that capture important ideas, like mantras, or anthems . writers like @postcrunk and @santinodela impress me for how their 140 characters can tell us so much about how to live !! and i’m proud to have done that prety well with some of my own lines: “make something beautiful before you are dead,” “stop pretending it’s boring to be alive,” etc
but i actualy get the most excited when people quote my other lines.. my realy fucked up ones haha —my lines about mutilating my own dick, and stuf like that. maybe it’s werid to you, but i feel a deep conection with the people who appreciate this fucked up humor. one of my all-time favorite frends to text message has been jamey strathman because , well, this stuff haha :)
for me the folowing quotes have been the source of such deep and intense laughter, while editing my videos or remembering them months later. how often do you laugh so hard it hurts your face ? you can’t fake that kind of hard laughter . i think it’s such a real & amazing response to have to art. it’s so visceral , often on the same level as crying
most of these quote’s are taken from my older videos, early 2012 especialy. i noticed after a while that many of my folowers dont like the dick-mutilation jokes, haha , (go firgure! ), so i starting burying them later in my videos, i said them less often or removd them all together . but i think that choice has made me enjoy my work less . real talk i think i used to get more excited makin videos
so realy this post is in honor of doing what you love as an artist , even if “success” is callin u to do somthing different. i dont think i’ll go back to sayin things about dead kids , because i realized those might be triggering for som people.. if so, sory for including them here ! but mostly i think this is a very importent list for me to make. i have to embrace who i am
so on that note, here is the top 38 most fucked up steve roggenbuck quotes, with the video links after. haha ok :) enjoy
- "if you’re a dad, just come over and fuck my armpit" (x)
- "i’m over here suckin’ my own dick for money. i’m gona suck my own dick for $500. i get paid $500 a day to suck my own dick. i don’t even gotta leave my own home because i get paid to suck my own dick. i actually feel the most alive when i’m watchin’ a football game on tv. and then i whip my own dick out and just start suckin’ my own cock. i go to car dealerships, start suckin’ my own dick inside the cars" (x)
- "frickin’ pierce my dick and shoot windex into the holes" (x)
- "literally just fuck my dad with a bag of checkers" (x)
- "shove a potato chip bag in my penis hole" (x)
- "i wanna spread that little poop canoe deep in my buttcheeks. i wanna push that little poop canoe" (x)
- "jab the ball point pen into my nut sack, tear a hole. a hole has been ripped—in my nutsack" (x)
- "just wipe your poop right into my hair… [i’m] drying a casement of poop around my head" (x)
- "what else are you gonna pop my dad’s dick with? cinderblock? a vice? a hammer? rubber mallet to pop my dad’s dick. rubber mallet to pop ross perot’s penis… pop ross perot’s dick. slice my dick vein." (x)
- "i’m suckin dead kids’ body parts through straws" (x)
- "cut my dick foreskin with toenail clippers" (x)
- "i wanna get my dick stuck in a whisk" (x)
- "pizza party with a dead kid" (x)
- "i love kids of age 9 to 11" (x)
- "you ever seen anything like this? a guy suckin his own dick??" (x)
- "my hoodie’s made of dead alien rat nutsacks" (x)
- "does anybody even know what the legal limit of dead kids that you can have? i’m gonna be honest i’ve got about 17 dead kids" (x)
- "and then i put hair polisher inside of my dick" (x)
- "i import about 3 cockboys every month, ‘cause my cockboys keep gettin killed. my cockboys keep gettin into accidents. i dont kno what hapens to these cockboys (x)
- "i truly sucked drake’s dick" (x)
- "you’ve been tickin’ your family off by puttin’ spermicide in their hair care products, haven’t you?" (x)
- "i’m ready for justin bieber’s 4-inch penis. i’ve been ready" (x)
- "fuckin’, my dad’s got skidmarks on his dick from fartin’ on his own dick" (x)
- "you got deported from new york state because you were an illegal hinduist cockblock, is this correct?" (x)
- "shove it deep in my grandpa’s hole" (x)
- "sidewalk chalk is about the thickness of a dog’s cock" (x)
- "you really wish to see me indulge on my own dick?" (x)
- "i’m gonna put my dick into a juice press" (x)
- "i actually do clog my asshole intentionally" (x)
- "i live to suck dingo cock. i live to suck the cock of a dingo. what? yes, i truly live to suck dingo dick." (x)
- "jam a toothpick in my peen" (x)
- "yeah if i had to name a cereal after my asshole i’d name it ‘fucked up lifestyle’" (x)
- "you were saying something about sucking a kangaroo’s dick?" (x)
- "i’m actually not sure if i can achieve my dreams, fill my refrigerator with dead kids fuck me every day" (x)
- "cork my hole i’m on a roll" (x)
- "mason jar of my dad’s spermicidal lube, drink that shit down" (x)
- "i want lightning to come down and strike my dick" (x)
and probably the #1 most fucked up qoute i have ever said:
- "i told jacques derrida, ‘you get up on this fucking chair, and i will stick this flathead screwdriver so far up your asshole…’ it was a flathead screwdriver, so it didn’t even have the rounded point of the phillips. i was using the phillips later on him" (x)
ok nice.. very nice work steve rogenbuck.. ok keep it comming we are proud of you !!!
friends : one thing i woud love — if you wana collect youre favorite lines of mine, favorite videos, favorite tweets, etc, in a list like this !! i would love to see what YOU apreciate most, from what ive done.. i would reblog or link to almost any of them you make, just tag “steve roggenbuck” if you do, and i will see it. anyway thank u so much :) i love u frends , we are in earth curently. this is wierd but we’re together
aw i like being held like this, makes you feel so safe and loved
I could use this tonight — well, every night — but more so tonight.
need this right now 😪
can not wait till boyfy is home
These lockets are anatomically correct. The locket is held shut by the trunk of the aorta, which acts as a snap. The chain attaches to the pendant through the superior vena cava and left pulmonary vein, causing the heart to hang slightly anterioinferiorly, just like our hearts!